


broken

by jupitcrs



Category: Gay baby gang, The Misfits - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kritz - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 14:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16243313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jupitcrs/pseuds/jupitcrs
Summary: john feels broken- but cam's there to help.





	broken

it wasn’t rare for john to cry.

of course, everyone thought it was. because he only cried alone, in the comfort of the prison he called his room.

he didn’t know why he cried. he didn’t know why he didn’t ask for help when he needed it. he didn’t know why the thought of actually  _getting_  help scared him.

he was broken and he wanted to be fixed.

except he couldn’t be, not easily. he wouldn’t be 100% again… ever. although, was anyone ever really 100%? john didn’t think so.

he knew he’d have to fix himself. he knew the reparations wouldn’t be handed to him by some knight in shining armor (not even  _his_ knight in shining armor could fix john completely) but he craved someone (cam) anyways. the loneliness of his storm was driving him further and further away from the sunshine he craved so badly.

john was as familiar with the saltiness of tears as his friends were with the sunshine. he knew the tremor of his crying like his friends knew each other’s laughs. he craved for the thoughts to flood him again just like his friends craved their other friends, because even though john knew it was horrible, knew it was hurting him, knew he  _needed it to stop_ , it was the only thing he was familiar with anymore.

it was terrifying, how comfortable john had grown with it all. it wasn’t healthy, the way he laid in bed and craved his every little fear to come back, because that feeling of being afraid that everyone he knew would leave him was the only thing he was convinced would never leave him.

and john was desperate to cling onto what little he had left.

but this time he wasn’t alone in bed. this time he was at his boyfriend’s house, who he hadn’t seen in weeks (because he had locked himself away, of course) and who he missed like he missed nobody else. cam was fast asleep, his arm thrown around john’s waist.

in the warmth of his boyfriend, in the arms of someone who loved him, john didn’t want his fear to stay anymore.

but it was.

so he turned on his side, making sure his face was as far away from cam’s as possible.

and then he cried.

and he cried a while, he did. he cried all the way up to when he heard cam stir, when he hurriedly tried to choke his tears down, when he quickly reached a hand up to wipe the tears off his face, when he squeezed his eyes shut and ignored the burning in his jaw that only grew worse as he held everything back.

but it was too late.

cam’s hand swept up, pulling a strand of hair that was wet with tears off of john’s face, tucking it behind his ear. “john, what’s wrong?”

“n- nothing,” john choked, opening his stinging eyes. cam leaned over to turn the lamp on, worry clouding his eyes when he glanced at john again. immediately, he shook his head, sitting up and pulling john into his lap.

“john, baby,” he whispered, eyebrows furrowing as he looked at his boyfriend, who looked so fragile and defeated and  _broken_  in his arms, who looked so afraid and yet so beautiful. “please talk to me, john,” he whispered, begging, pleading that his boyfriend wouldn’t keep himself behind the locked door of his mind. “please.”

“i-“ he tried to get something out, but it crumbled in his throat, and it was only followed by more tears. cam wrapped his arms around john, pulled him close and pressed soft kisses to the top of his head. john tried his hardest to hold back his tears but he couldn’t, breaking into sobs as cameron held him, fingers curling around and clutching at cam’s raspberry hoodie.

“i’ve got you,” cameron whispered, rubbing john’s back as the boy broke down in his arms. “it’s okay, baby.”

“n-  _not_  okay,” john whispered, resting his forehead against cam’s shoulder, broken and cracked sobs slipping out between his chapped lips. “it’s not okay, cam, it isn’t okay, it hasn’t been okay,” he broke, words flushed against each other with how quick he spoke. “i’m not okay.”

“that’s okay,” cam murmured, heart aching in his chest to see the love of his life so broken like this. he leaned forward and tilted john’s head up, offering a small, reassuring smile to the boy. “it’s okay to not be okay.”

“i wanna feel  _better_ ,” john mumbled, leaning into cam’s grip, tears slowly stopping. he calmed underneath the gentle rubbing of his head, the feeling of cam’s fingers running through his hair. “i don’t wanna be so- so afraid anymore, i don’t wanna be sad all- all the time, i don’t wanna keep- keep m-myself away from everyone i love, anymore, that’s not- that’s not what i wanna do.”

“i’ll do everything i can to help you feel better,” cam hummed, leaning over to press a kiss to the boy’s temple. “everyone will do everything they can.”

he paused, for a moment.

“i know you don’t like therapy-“

john tensed, fear building back up,

“-but do you want to try it if i come with?”

and it subsided.

john nodded, shakily reaching for cam’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “i think, i think that’d be.. that’d be good.”

“would it?” cam asked, voice gentle. john nodded, yawning as he buried his face into cam’s sweater. he frowned,

“…sorry for getting your sweater wet.”

“it’s fine,” cam smiled, kissing his forehead softly. “you wanna talk some more, or do you wanna try and head to bed now?” cam phrased his words softly, making sure that john knew he would be fine with either. “if you’re sleepy, we can talk in the morning, don’t worry.”

“i- i’m tired,” john confessed, pulling away from cam. cam nodded, leaning over to turn the lamp off, tossing his sweater off afterwards. he laid back down with john, who let out a lazy giggle as he kissed cam’s now bare collarbones. “i like you better with nothing on anyways.”

cam rolled his eyes, smiling as he pulled his boyfriend into a kiss. john returned it as best as he could, resting his hand on cam’s cheek, pouring his affection into it.

and then they parted, and john cuddled back into cam’s arms, the safest place in the whole world. cam made sure to secure the blankets around them before he kissed john’s cheek, shutting his eyes.

“goodnight, baby,” cam murmured, fingers following a rhythm through john’s hair again. john hummed softly, pressing a kiss to cam’s shoulder,

“goodnight, cam.”

and then he fell asleep in cam’s arms- where he wasn’t alone, and where he wasn’t afraid.


End file.
